What to Tell Your Kids Why The Elves Didn't Move
I was just reading about what happens when the Elf of the Shelf doesn't move overnight. Literally, like a few days ago I was reading that article.
Thoughts that went through my head:
- "Ha! That would never happen."
- "Ha! That won't happen to me."
- "Ha! Not gonna happen."
It happened. To me. It happened to me last night.
Our elves, count them, two, elves, didn't move!!
Remember that word that Ralphie said which merited a bar of barf-worthy soap in the mouth? Remember?
(Reference to A Christmas Story")
That's what went through my head when the quick-paced pitter patter of tiny kid feet came running down the hall to see where Icicle and HollyHeart had moved to this morning.
Ughhhhhhhh. Major heart sink and palpitations ensued.
Oh my gosh, I'm going to have a heart attack and nobody will know if I can just keep this immense panic and anxiety from showing all over my face. Keep your sweat inside, man!
They probably just fell asleep. Mostly true.
Maybe they also have strep throat. Could be true.
They need their rest. Definitely probably true.
It worked. Praise God, because I'm probably going to hell for this.
If it doesn't work for you, you should be more convincing. I mean, really. You disgust me. And you say you don't play make-believe.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!
<<One elf? You've got it easy! We have two. Thanks, Santa!>>